I used to be constantly tormented by negative, intrusive thoughts. "Tormented" because I believed...
I used to be constantly tormented by negative, intrusive thoughts. "Tormented" because I believed they revealed buried evils and inappropriate desires hidden even from me. It was years before I heard someone explain that those terrible thoughts and judgements actually weren't me at all. They also weren't God's condemnation, or even a reflection of my personality. It turns out that all thoughts are, are electrochemical reactions in the brain. Chronic illness, chemical imbalances, traumatic incidents, and other factors all contribute to the creation of these thought patterns. Valid or not, disturbing thoughts like these can hold a lot of power over us if we let them. At best, they can make us feel uneasy. At worst, they can throw us into a shame spiral that shuts us off from the world entirely. My self-disgust was so extreme that it made me feel like everything was pointless and life wasn't worth living. It's crazy to me now, but at the time, I truly thought the world would be a better place without a "twisted soul" like me around. I still have crazy thoughts pop up, but I now have tools and strategies to cope with them. I first ask myself: • Is this thought true? • Is it happening currently? • Is this an inevitability that I need to prepare for? If the answer is "Yes", I take action. If the answer is "No", I find the best thing to do is to think of them as clouds and just let them pass. No analyzing, no internalizing, no attaching value to things that literally only exist as electricity... NOT REALITY. Feel free to contact me if you're struggling with negative thoughts and are in need of additional coping strategies. It takes work, but it IS possible to break free from the hold these thoughts can have on us.
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