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Part 12: Consequences, Voluntary Commitment, the Journey. What's Next?

By Ashley Huckabee

As a consequence of the way my life had turned out and the poor decisions that I was continuing to make, I was plunged into a severe depression. After finally hitting my limit, I decided to seek treatment by voluntarily checking myself into a mental health facility. This wouldn’t be my first stay, but it was definitely my worst. I had sought treatment a year prior for my drinking and because I needed a break from Joe. Upon arrival, I met “Dr. X,” the hospital’s director, and I could tell immediately that we weren’t going to get along.

Before admitting myself the first time, I had been prescribed high doses of muscle relaxers and narcotic pain medication. I was suffering from chronic back pain, and despite going to a number of specialists, none of them could determine the cause. They eventually gave up and sent me to a clinic that specialized in pain management. This took place at the height of the opioid epidemic, and that, coupled with my addictive personality, was a recipe for disaster. It didn’t take long before my whole life began revolving around the pills. They offered not only relief from the physical pain, but from the mental and emotional anguish as well.

Living with Joe was so horrific that I simply couldn’t do it sober. I would start each day by grinding up a double dose of my pills, mixing the powder with a little juice, and shooting it back. Although dangerous, I did this because when you’re trying to treat your emotional pain, the time release coating can be a real hindrance.

Keep checking back to see how I overcame my difficulties to achieve my dreams.

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