Part 14: Alarms Blaring, Textbook Narcissist. What Happened?
By Ashley Huckabee
To fully appreciate the following events, you have to first understand my relationship with Dr. X. From the first time we met, I knew that we would have a contentious relationship. There was just something about him, a negative, untrustworthy energy that set off all of my alarms. It was clear that he viewed himself as superior to not only his patients and their families, but the rest of the world. A self-professed genius, he had no qualms about showcasing how much smarter he thought himself to be than those in his charge.
Dr. X was a sawed-off bastard reaching roughly 5 feet tall, and whose personality seemed to be forged entirely of anger and ego. He came across as more of a stereotypical narcissist than a caregiver. I can almost always identify at least one quality to admire in anyone I meet, but he is a rare exception. Things would have been different if he at least had a good heart, but it was clear from the beginning that he had no real desire to help anybody. It seemed as though his sole objective was to maintain his tyrannical position by exerting his power and control. It wasn’t hard to draw the conclusion that he was trying to make us feel small in order to compensate for the impotence he felt in his private life.
Hopefully all of this helps to explain why I felt I couldn’t trust him. I was honest with him about the prescriptions I was taking the first time around, and it basically destroyed my life. So when I returned, I promptly began lying. I minimized the severity of my depression and adamantly denied that my drinking had reached an uncontrollable level - a decision I would soon come to regret.
To be continued…
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